Finnegan’s middle name, Moore, is in honor of my Grandma Phyllis. It was her maiden name and a good strong Irish name. I knew that I wanted to have my child’s namesake somehow connect to her because she and I were so close. Finnegan Moore sounded right. Today is her birthday. Today she smiled upon us and helped us hit some of those milestones we’ve been aching to reach. The first being weaned off our BiPAP and are now on straight CPAP. When I left for work this morning they took him off the respiratory pressure and he has handled it like a champ. I was so worried that it was too much, too fast. That he would “fail” and we would be forced to add it back. I should’ve never underestimated my little warrior. He barely noticed. We will be on a standard high flow before you know it.
When I returned from work our darling nurse, Emilie, told me to pack my bags. YES! We got moved all the way down to room 12. We have a corner unit with beautiful sun shining in from two angles. It feels bigger and nicer, but I am sure that is just in my head. It’s the significance of moving down the hallway that means the most, not the accommodations. We are still technically “ICU” rather than general care center, but we are the second to last room on the ICU and that means something. What a fabulous day for Finn.
I know Grandma Phyllis was sending us her birthday love today and Finn gladly rose to the occasion. Thanks Gram!
Whenever we get handed off to a new nurse I love listening to them describe my son. They talk about his vitals, stats and all that normal nursing details. What I love is listening to them talk about his personality. Everyone always talks about how stinking cute he is, how sweet his coos are, what he likes and doesn’t like and how to settle him when he is upset. Then, the conversation always comes around to Finn and his mama. Each time the nurses hand off they tell our new friend about the special bond that we have. How mama makes everything better. How we can stare at each other and speak our own language for an hour straight. This boy and I have such a special bond. We have been through hell and back together and we are both still smiling. I am so in love. When I come in the room he smiles, when I walk away he gets upset. The bond is undeniable and everyone here knows it.
Goodnight my sweet boy. Tomorrow marks the beginning of our third week in the CVICU and the continuation on our road to healing.