Helpless

Everyone is asking how they can help us. I’m begging the doctors for anything I can actively do to help Finn. We all want to physically be doing something right now but there is nothing we can do. Not being able to take action is so hard. I feel helpless. 

 Supportive care or comfort care is our current holding pattern. Give him love, rest and snuggles. Keep him comfortable and hope he gets better. Soon. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a take action type of person. I set goals, I work hard and I achieve them. This helplessness is foreign territory for me. I want to take my son’s sickness and pain away. If I could make him better by sawing off my own arm with a butter knife I would do it. This wait and see approach is killing me. 

For those who want to help us, just love us and be patient with us. Sometimes we are sad, stressed or frustrated. Some moments we are happy and hopeful. Try and understand that every day is different or new from the last. We came in to gain a couple of ounces and found out there was a deeper eating issue. In the midst of trying to pinpoint the eating problem and how to solve it we were body slammed into the rhinovirus. Now we can’t do anything other than watch our little man sleep and suffer. Trying to keep him as comfortable as we can until we can go back to actually solving problems. For now we wait. Love, light, prayers and positive vibes are welcome. We don’t discriminate on the type of positivity sent his way.

April 3, 2017